The key to getting pregnant is to track ovulation, and pregnancy is then much more likely to occur if you have sex during that time. Ovulation is defined as the releasing of an egg from a woman’s ovary. Ovulation generally occurs about halfway through a woman’s monthly cycle, although some women ovulate very early or very late in their cycle. Ovulation predictor kits and basal temperature charting can help you to determine exactly when your body ovulates.

Ovulation and pregnancy occur relatively close together. A man’s sperm can live for two to five days after ejaculation. A woman’s egg, on the other hand, will only live for up to 24 hours. Therefore, it is recommended that sexual intercourse take place from a few days before ovulation until the day after ovulation. Having sexual intercourse every day or every other day during this window is the most efficient way of getting pregnant.

If you have been trying to get pregnant for a few cycles, try not to worry. Each time you have sex with perfect timing, you only have a twenty-percent chance of getting pregnant. It can take a healthy couple six months to a year to get pregnant. By learning more about how ovulation and pregnancy are related, you are well on your way to increasing your chances of getting pregnant.

10. “Just relax and you’ll get pregnant.” Oh, yeah. Check out my new trick: I can relax on command! Oh, wait…

9. “Just stop trying and you’ll get pregnant.” Really? Can you guarantee this? If not, please do not get my hopes up. And one cannot just “turn off” the desire to have children, so until your friend reaches the end of her TTC journey (be it IVF, adoption, or accepting the fact that she will not have children), she will never stop trying.

8. “Maybe you should try ____.” This phrase is usually followed by some lame old wives’ tale like standing on your head afterwards to let gravity do its thing. (No, this doesn’t work…not that I’ve tried this.) Hey, BFF: Just because you got pregnant after doing it doggy style does not mean that I will, and most of the time I’ve already tried whatever it is you’re suggesting anyways. Thanks for reminding me that I failed. Again.

7. “I feel so fat. My feet are so swollen. Being pregnant is so miserable. Blah blah blah…” You’re pregnant? Congrats! Now STFU because I would kill for your morning sickness.

6. “I love being pregnant and feeling this warm glow radiating all over me from the inside out. Blah blah blah…” Basically, STFU. I’m not interested in hearing anything–good or bad–about your pregnancy until I can relate.

5. “Can you believe we got pregnant on the first try?” Yes, actually, I do believe it. People like you who are socially clueless enough to make a comment like this are usually the ones who get knocked up first. Congrats. Now please refer to #6 and #7.

4. “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” “God has a plan.” etc. I can see how some people might perceive this as being comforting, but an infertile woman hears: “God doesn’t want you to have the one thing that would make you truly happy.” She is already dealing with feelings of failure, guilt, and disappointment. Let’s not add anger over some injustice done because she, for some reason, doesn’t deserve to have children.

3. “You’re so lucky you have the freedom to sleep in/go on dates/travel/enjoy life.” Your friend wants nothing more than all the sleepless nights, spit-up, and poopsplosions that go along with parenting and would give up her freedom in a heartbeat. Same goes for stretch marks and saggy boobs. Bring it on if it means I can have a baby! So, best not to complain about your post-baby body either.

2. “Well, you can always adopt.” This makes it seem as if choosing adoption is on par with saying, “You can always stop at Starbucks on your way to work.” The choice to adopt is often a heart-wrenching decision that couples agonize over, and it can be a devastating final option for a woman who has always dreamed of having a biological child. Not to mention, once you begin the adoption process, it can take years and many thousands of dollars before you are actually able to bring your baby home.

1. “Well, at least you can have fun trying.” Right. Maybe the first couple months were fun. Fast forward a year later and now trying to conceive means forcing yourself to do it when you don’t want to just because you’re ovulating. Your TTC  friend may also be taking supplements, checking her temperature daily, inserting PreSeed before sex, peeing on/in things multiple times a day so as not to miss her ovulation, and checking her cervical mucus daily. Gets me hot just thinking about it…

Did I forget any winners? Leave a comment below and share your most hated TTC piece of advice.

Why does cervical mucus matter? When a man’s sperm is trying to swim to an egg, it needs proper lubrication to enable movement so those bad boys can reach their destination quickly. Egg-white cervical mucus is actually the ideal consistency for sperm to swim through. And our bodies produce it at the exact time we are the most likely to conceive…aren’t our bodies amazing?

So what should you look for? Chances are, you’ve seen some of this stretchy substance in your underwear or when you’ve wiped. It may be clear or a milky white in color and it will usually stretch an inch or more between your fingers. For more information about cervical mucus, pick up a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. (Over 1,000 people gave it a 5-star rating on Amazon.) The book tells you everything you need to know, plus it includes pictures of the different types of cervical mucus for your viewing pleasure.

If you’ve never seen egg-white cervical mucus, or ANY cervical mucus for that matter, don’t fret. Some women produce more discharge than others. You can try checking your cervical mucus by doing a quick swipe with a (clean) finger inside your vagina and up near your cervix. You can still have fertile-quality cervical mucus even if you don’t see it externally. However, if you believe dryness is an issue or you don’t think your body is producing enough eggwhite cervical mucus, check out our post on PreSeed, which is an excellent internal lubricant that mimics the consistency of eggwhite cervical mucus and gives sperm the extra boost of additional moisture needed to get the job done.

In honor of the 26 victims of the tragedy in CT, I am doing 26 random acts of kindness this holiday season. For act #1, in honor of Charlotte Bacon (age 6), I am giving away a $5 Amazon gift card code to the first person to read this. Just enter this gift card code at checkout: SR4U-NJ5X7G-3F4T.

Please leave a comment below to let others know the code has been claimed. For anyone else inspired to do an act of kindness for a stranger, I’d love to hear what you did to bring a smile to someone’s face. Happy Holidays!

Melissa
MBD Administrator

#26Acts
#26ActsofKindness
facebook.com/26Acts

When my husband and I were trying to conceive our first child, we tried every trick in the book: ovulation predictor kits, basal temperature charting, drinking green tea for increased cervical mucus and pomegranate juice to thicken the lining of the uterus…I am ashamed to say I even tried elevating my hips after we did the deed (even though every source I’ve read says this does NOT work).

After trying for several months, I decided to give PreSeed lubricant a try. Within two months, I was knocked up. Was it the PreSeed that did it? I have no idea, but you can bet your ass I will use this stuff when we try for our next kid.

How does PreSeed lubricant work? It’s quite simple….
We’ve all had “dry” days, and that is not the ideal atmosphere for sperm trying to fertilize an egg. PreSeed is a lubricant that mimics the consistency of your most fertile cervical mucus: namely, the “egg-white” variety that your body produces when you are most fertile. Some women don’t produce an adequate amount and can use a little boost. By increasing the quantity of fertile-quality fluids, you are helping the sperm to more easily swim to their destination.

How is PreSeed lubricant different from other lubricants?

Most personal lubricants are applied to the exterior genitals during intimate encounters. They work wonders for sex, but the lubrication is very localized and doesn’t really reach up into the depths that the sperm will need to go. Plus, most traditional lubes are actually toxic to sperm and decrease sperm motility, rendering them unable to swim. For more information about this, check out this article on storknet.com.

PreSeed lubricant is different in that it is applied internally through the use of a thin plastic tube, much like a very skinny tampon. Not very sexy, but it’s effective. The applicator helps to add internal moisture just where you need it in order to help you get pregnant. And PreSeed is the only lubricant on the market that is considered “sperm-friendly” and recommended for women trying to conceive.

The downside to using the applicator to apply PreSeed is that you have to do a bit of advanced planning and “shoot up” in the bathroom prior to getting it on. Either that, or you can have your partner insert the tube and squirt the PreSeed up into your vajayjay, but that’s just…eww. So while PreSeed lubricant is not ideal for spur-of-the-moment sex, chances are, if you are trying to get pregnant, you are used to having planned sex anyways.

Overall, I’d recommend PreSeed lubricant to anyone trying to get pregnant. If nothing else, adding a little lube can make for a pleasurable experience for you both. My husband definitely liked the added moisture. And if it helps you to get pregnant, even better!

Why do I need an ovulation kit?

Most women have been taught that the average length of a woman’s menstrual cycle is 28 days, and that ovulation occurs on day 14.  However, cycles can vary greatly, especially for those of us who stop taking birth control pills in order to conceive.  You might find that you have much longer or shorter cycles, and ovulation does not necessarily occur halfway through your cycle.  Ovulation predictor kits can help you pinpoint when you are about to ovulate, so that you can time intercourse accordingly.

negative and positive ovulation test

For example, let’s say a woman has a 32-day cycle, and she ovulates on day 20 of that cycle.  If she assumed that she ovulated on day 14 and had intercourse around that time, she would be off by 6 days.  Keeping in mind that sperm can only survive inside a woman’s body for a maximum of 5 days, this woman would miss her actual ovulation date every time.  By using an ovulation predictor kit, she would have identified that her ovulation occurred later than she had been expecting, and she would be able to plan for intercourse at her most fertile time of the month.

How do ovulation predictor kits work?

Just before ovulation, your body produces more luteinizing hormone (LH) in order to help the mature ovum release from its protective follicle.  Ovulation predictor kits detect this LH “surge” and indicate that you are in your fertile window.  When your ovulation test shows a positive result, it means ovulation is likely to occur within 24 to 36 hours.  You are most fertile in the 2-3 days before ovulation as well as on the day you ovulate.  Many women choose to test twice a day to be sure they do not miss their LH surge, thus increasing their chances of becoming pregnant.

You have a much better chance of becoming pregnant if you can predict when ovulation is likely to occur.  However, an LH surge does not guarantee that you will ovulate, and some women experience multiple LH surges throughout the course of their cycles.  The only way to tell if you actually ovulated is to track your basal body temperature and look for an increased thermal shift which indicates that ovulation has occurred.  Read more about basal temperature charting here.

Where can I buy ovulation predictor kits?

Ovulation predictor kits are available at most supermarkets and discount stores such as Ralphs, CVS and Wal-Mart, but they only carry the digital and midstream varieties.  There are several kinds of ovulation predictor kits, but they all provide the same results.  The cheapest ovulation tests are available online, and some websites even offer free shipping.

• Digital tests like the Clearblue Total Digital Ovulation Test ($30 for 7 tests) have a digital readout display which many women find is easier to interpret than traditional lines.

• The most common ovulation tests are the midstream versions, such as the First Response Easy-Read One-Step Ovulation Predictor Test Kit ($13 for 7 tests), which are held directly in the stream of urine.

• The most cost-conscious ovulation kits, which are an attractive option if you plan on testing twice a day, are the BabyHopes Ovulation Test Strips.  You can choose the quantity of tests you would like, and they cost from $0.60-$1.20 per test, depending on how many you order.  Plus, BabyHopes offers free shipping on every order!

• Finally, consider buying a combo pack of ovulation predictor kits and home pregnancy tests such as the Combo Pack 40 (LH) Ovulation Tests + 10 Early Detection (HCG) Pregnancy Test Strip Pack by DMI ($14 on Amazon) to get the most for your money.

negative and positive ovulation test strips

Read what women are saying about this book:

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“I honestly thought that just being a woman ~ I knew all I needed to know to get pregnant. I am 35 now and ready to have a baby, so I stopped taking the pill and waited 2 cycles and thought all I had to do was plan our night of fun close to Ovulation “Day 14″. Was I ever wrong!!

After trying unsuccessfully on my own for 5 months, I started to question my fertility. I purchased ovulation test strips and they wouldn’t show a peak ovulation. I found others online who were trying to conceive and recommended this book. Once I received the book, I couldn’t put it down! I was amazed at what little information I actually knew about my cycle ~ my own body and what it had been telling me all along. I just didn’t understand it.

I learned not everyone ovulates on “Day 14″, for me it is actually “Day 23″. I assumed I wasn’t ovulating and got frustrated at day 20-21 and would stop testing. I now know to look for signals to show when I’m ovulating and now test in the correct window.

By reading this book I now have a clear understanding of my cycle. At my age, I want to have a baby sooner than later, so I plan on taking a more aggressive approach to my fertilization. I talked with my doctor after 6 months, rather than 1 year. With the help of this book and charting, I was able to explain my cycle and show my doctor all my charts. I was able to provide all the information needed to show I have a short luteal phase. By providing this information to the doctor, we will be able to treat the ovulation problem that much quicker. My doctor commented that I was extremely organized and it really helped things along.

This book is very easy to read and understand. You will be able to clearly read your own body signals during your cycle, and have a better understanding of your fertilization ~ whether you want to become pregnant – or not.

I will share this book with other women and would recommend it for every woman!”
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“I bought this book after 4 unsuccessful months of trying, which was after 3 months of waiting after having 2 miscarriages. Since I’d gotten pregnant right away with my first child, I figured there might be something I needed to learn and I couldn’t have been more right. This book is an absolute must for anyone, whether you’re trying to get pregnant or not. I learned more about my body in the day and a half it took me to read the book than I ever did in any of the sex ed classes in school. After 4 months of what we thought was perfect timing and no success, we thought there might be a problem. I bought the book to learn about detecting ovulation and potential fertility problems. I got pregnant the first cycle I charted because of the knowledge I gained about ovulation and its signals. I learned through charting that I ovulated on Day 21 rather than Day 14. I was also able to determine I was pregnant without even taking a test! I’m so thrilled about the knowledge I’ve gained by reading this book and I feel much more in tune with my body now that I am pregnant. I urge any woman to get this book if you are at all interested in your body, pregnancy achievement, or pregnancy avoidance. This book is very well written in plain English that is easy to understand. The illustrations, color photographs, and numerous charting patterns were especially helpful to me. I can’t say enough about this book!”

Some experts say that there is no amount of alcohol that is guaranteed safe during pregnancy.  This is because every pregnancy, and every baby is different.  It is possible that even trace amounts of alcohol in the mother’s bloodstream can affect the fetus, leading to fetal alcohol effects such as mental retardation and physical disabilities.  And since the effects can occur as early as the first few weeks of pregnancy, these experts advise that women who are trying to conceive cut alcohol out of their diets altogether.

On the other hand, many women continue to drink or smoke before they find out they are pregnant, and they give birth to happy, healthy babies.  Consequently, many pregnant women feel that the occasional beer or glass of wine will not harm the fetus.  In fact, they suggest that an occasional drink might actually be helpful, since it can help the mommy-to-be relax.

Where do you stand? Is any amount of alcohol okay during pregnancy? If so, how much is too much?  Leave a comment below and tell us your thoughts.

Sources:  www.babycenter.com, www.babble.com

When trying to conceive, it is important to understand how your hormones work during your monthly cycle. During the first half of your cycle (from the first day of your last period through ovulation), estrogen is the primary hormone in charge. The estrogen is what produces an egg each month to be released from your ovaries. This part of your cycle is called the follicular phase. The second half of your cycle (from ovulation until your next period) is called the luteal phase. During this time, the hormone progesterone takes over and will be the primary hormone in charge until it drops off just before your next menstrual period.

How Do I Get Started with Basal Body Temperature Charting?
You will need a good quality digital basal thermometer, which is much more sensitive than a traditional fever thermometer, but you can purchase one for about the same price (Babyhopes.com sells one for $10.95: Click here). Your basal temperature is your temperature when your body is at rest, first thing in the morning.  To make sure you are charting accurately, keep a notebook and pen on your nightstand and take your temperature before getting out of bed each morning.  This should be done every day at the same time, which may mean that you will have to wake up early on the weekends to record your temperature.  Some people prefer to use computer programs or websites to chart.  Fertilityfriend.com is a free program that tracks your temperature and other symptoms to make charting easy.  Click here to see a sample chart and join Fertilityfriend.  Some websites also offer printable graphs to record your information on (try this one from Storknet.com).

What Should I Look For?
When you have ovulated, you can expect to see a spike in temperature ranging from about .5 to 1.6 degrees. You are most fertile in the 2-3 days before ovulation, and up to 24 hours after ovulation has occurred. You will know for sure that you have ovulated when you have 3 consecutive days of increased temperatures. Of course, three days after ovulation is too late to become pregnant, so it’s best to have intercourse as soon as you notice a temperature spike. You may need to chart for a couple of months to see when you tend to ovulate. Try to have intercourse every day in the days leading up to ovulation. To identify your exact fertile window, and for the best way to get pregnant, use a basal thermometer in conjunction with an ovulation predictor kit. If you do not see a consistent rise in temperature in the second half of your cycle, it is possible that you are not ovulating. In this case, you can bring your basal body temperature chart to your doctor to seek possible treatments.

Source: www.storknet.com

The EPT test, ironically called the Error-Proof Test, uses a blue dye that is prone to false positives, or at least vertical lines that can resemble faint positives.  Beware of pregnancy tests that use a “plus” sign to indicate pregnancy, as many of these tests use blue dye.  Other blue dye pregnancy tests include Clear Blue +, Equate +, Fact Plus, and several store brands such as CVS and Rite Aid.  Notice the faint blue vertical line in the left “test” window on the EPT:

EPT test

It is important to note that the horizontal test line on the EPT pregancy test is not a solid line, but actually a series of four dotted lines.  In the picture above, you may be able to see that there are a few dots that show up above the horizontal line and to the right of the the vertical line as well.  I also noticed this on one other EPT test that is not pictured.  Due to the stray dots and vertical line, this test resembles a faint positive.

EPT vs FRER pregnancy test

The First Response Pregnancy Test, on the other hand, uses a pink dye that is notoriously more accurate than the blue dye.  Other pregnancy tests that use pink dye are Accuclear, Dollar Tree brand, and BabyConfirm by Confirm Sciences.  The pink dye tests generally use one vertical line to show “not pregnant” and two vertical lines to show “pregnant.”  The lines are clear, bright, and solid rather than dotted.  Also, since they do not intersect, they are less likely “bleed” into one another.  The picture on the left shows a negative First Response test (top) and a negative EPT test (bottom).  Notice how the singular pink line on the First Response pregnancy test is nice and clear (a positive test would have a second pink line), while the blue dye EPT test shows a faint “positive” line.

Many women, myself included, have been misled by blue dye pregnancy tests such as EPT.  I would therefore strongly recommend purchasing a pink dye test such as First Response Early Result ($15 for 3 tests). Better yet, take the guesswork out of testing by picking up a digital version such as the Clearblue Easy Digital Pregnancy Test, which displays either “pregnant” or “not pregnant” on a digital screen. I used a digital test to confirm the pregnancy with my son at 9 days past ovulation, so these can potentially provide accurate results as early as a First Response pregnancy test.

If cost is a concern, consider purchasing a package of generic test strips from Amazon ($8 for 25 tests).

Do your pregnancy tests keep showing up negative? Your timing may be off.  The best method for correctly timing intercourse is by using an ovulation test and charting your basal body temperature daily. Read more tips about getting pregnant on our Trying To Conceive page!

Is there a pregnancy test that you swear by?  Leave a comment below and tell us your thoughts on the best pregnancy test on the market.